Sugarfat.

Mmmm...I just had some incredibly good sugarfat.

I'm sitting in the lobby of the hotel (where I will remain until my train leaves tonight) catching up on some Lovecraft, eating decadently, and staying warm. That last bit is especially important.

Mostly though, I'm planning my itinerary for these next two, suddenly free, weeks. I'm thinking of going through Helsinki then on to Stockholm down to Copenhagen and finally to Germany, either Hamburg or Berlin. The first thing I must do, however, is get on that train.

Anyway, back to the sugarfat. On the menu, it's called the chocolate and cherry cake but really it's just a brick of chocolate mousse (brick referring to the shape not the weight of the fluffy confection) on top of dense, nutty chocolate cake covered in chocolate with chocolate cutouts pasted to the sides and served with strawberries and whipped cream. I asked for a glass of milk to go with the cake (must be proactive about my bone density after all) and they brought me a huge mug full of warm cream. Cream. I swoon.

This morning, I had an unpleasant e-mail waiting in my inbox from my Russian associate calling me, among other things, selfish and I suppose I am. I was unhappy. I was tired of being unhappy. And so I took drastic steps to increase my happiness. As my friend K. says, "You are responsible for your own happiness" and if that's not true while I'm on my own half a world away, I'm not sure when (or where) it is. I also suppose that stance can make a little unpleasant at times, but I don't think I can avoid that.

In the heat of panic last night, I called my parents to inform them of the whole gory situation and now that everything is calm, I almost, almost wish I hadn't. Here's why I'm still glad I did, 1) they needed to know my approximate whereabouts in case something did happen to me and 2) they have access to resources I don't. A bit of hyperactive worrying (which I hope will pass once I'm back in more westerly Europe) is a small price to pay for extending a safety net I desperately needed a few hours ago.

The point is, things are looking up. My father suggested, in his blunt way, that I need emergency funds, and, after getting over my hurt feelings, I agreed with him. After two mishaps, I'm much better prepared psychologically to deal with failed plans, but it wouldn't hurt to have more tangible resources.

And with that, I'm off to bask in the wondrous glory of my sugarfat induced haze.